Without going into too much detail, I just need to vent about me and my lame ways. I know where I want to be in life but sometimes saying it is easier than the push I need to actually do something about my problems. I am trying to make some decisions that could benefit Wayne and I but I hate that I get into a comfort bubble that even if the bubble isn't helping me progress in life, if the bubble is the worst possible place to be, I still stay. Why? Why do I tell myself over and over again that good things are in store if I don't even try for them? I think one reason is fear of failure. Because what if I'm wrong? What if the grass on the other side is just spray painted pine needles? I don't like where I am right now in life. I don't feel challenged. It's not even that I'm bored. I don't like feeling like the frump girl on My Big Fat Greek Wedding who is stuck in a rut and just imagines a better life out there. (I know she pushes through and does something about it...) But how do I start? Why am I so afraid of new beginnings? Why can't I just let go and try it out? I am going back to school in the Fall but I am literally terrified. I haven't attended college in 7 years. Almost 8 years.... I hope this will help things turn around for me. I once was not this bad. Maybe because I made so many poor quick decisions that I am afraid of the thought of making a decision at all. When I talk to friends and family I feel I give decent good advice. But why is it so hard to take my own advice?
"Blerg...." - Liz Lemon
2 comments:
oh blerg!!!
hang in there. you are good at making decisions...you did decide to come here you know..
Decisions are the worst! Hang in there. I don't know what you are going through, but I can tell you for sure you aren't the only one who has ever gone through something like that and felt that way. We need to make some decisions as well. While comfort is nice I don't want to miss out on an awesome future God has for me because I'm afraid of doing something different or challenging. Maybe your post will be enough to spur me on into the next great adventure.
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