Life so far.... As a wife.

Well it's late. I should be in bed but I know my sister Bex would appreciate a new post (and maybe a few pictures).

We have been married just a little over two months now. Which is crazy. I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. Marriage has been wonderful. My boss asked me what is the biggest shocker of being married. I honestly didn't have an answer. I went into this knowing who I was marrying. Yes, to all you married folks shaking your head at me. I knew his faults. His bad habits. And he knew mine. We dated for two years before we got married and we went through a lot. We argued. We yelled. Got mad. And sometimes I think we got it out of our systems. We might get bugged at each other because neither of us enjoy taking out the trash. Maybe knowing we live with each other we have learned to take a breather and not get upset over silly matters. I want him to help with dishes, he wants me to pick up my dirty clothes. So we try a little harder each day to be a better person than we were yesterday. And isn't that what true love is all about? Becoming the best version of yourself because someone makes you want to be better? Well that's what I think at least.


I have thought about what my boss asked lately. And the only answer I can truly come up with right now is, marriage is dating but with benefits. Now I'm not being dirty here people. I mean, no more driving back and forth to see each other. No more worrying "where is this going". I get to go to bed each night next to the person who makes my heart leap. I'm listening to Coldplay "Green Eyes" and it's hitting a spot in my heart. It expresses how I feel sometimes. Except that he has blue eyes and I'm the one with green. :) But he really is "a rock upon which I stand".

But back to my original thought- I love being married. I love that Wayne asked me to be his for forever. I thought for so long that I would walk this world alone. But I finally trusted in the Lord. Which I can testify, is never easy. But He led me to the right one, after so many wrong ones. Marriage has opened me up to a new way of thinking. I no longer feel sad. I never feel alone. I am happier than I ever knew someone could be. I listen to music I once loved (heart break, girl anger songs, etc.) and I no longer can relate. Seriously. I am not this crazy, disturbed girl that I once was. I feel the spirit of the Lord with me. I feel him in my home. I feel that I have grown so much in the last year, and I needed it. I am grateful for those who helped me get to where I am now. Some helped in a positive way and others, well let's just say taught me what not to do.

I am grateful today for family. I don't know how I could've made it through this life without them. I read something today about how we are growing up but how our parents are getting older too. And it made an impact on me. I can't imagine life without my parents. I couldn't even imagine life without grandparents, and then we lost Gramps 6 years ago. When I go home for a visit I still have to remind myself he isn't there. But I know I will see him again. I am grateful families are forever and life is too short to not have them in your life. Family isn't perfect. Anyone with a family that wasn't raised by Julie Andrews knows that. Sometimes we need to get over ourselves and move on. We can't expect everyone around us to give into our needs and wants. If we aren't growing in this life we are just going backwards. Not standing still. Decreasing is a way I like to think of it. We are taught by the Lord that in order for us to be forgiven we must first forgive those who have hurt us and caused us harm. In the last year I have learned to just let go and trust in the Lord. I am happier for it and I hope those reading this can rethink about their lives and strive to be better. Sometimes it's just working on a small task. Like smile more and be more giving of your time. I have challenged myself that this week as well.

Wayne makes me better. Two months down, an eternity to go. I am ready for the ride. I guess this post turned into more than just about being a wife. But that's what happens when it's late I suppose. :)